January 2024

He thought he’d insulted me


“Oops, oh sorry, I shouldn’t have said that!”, he said.

We’d only just met, but I know embarrassment when I see it.

The train we were on had just pulled into the station, so there wasn’t time to explain why he hadn’t insulted me at all.


If I could rewind conversation to the start, and have it over again, this is what I’d say…

When you asked me what my job is, and then made a comment to say I’m ‘at menopause’, it wasn’t an insult. You didn’t need to apologise or feel embarrassed.

I didn’t take it as an insult, at all.

What I mean is.. it shouldn’t be an insult

Many, many people would think differently, perhaps more so of your generation.

You’re retired, with a different perspective of ageing (and menopause) to me.

I don’t think it’s just a generational thing though.

The more we question our societal beliefs over the meaning of menopause, the better.

That bit is a choice.

There is even research to show that how a society views menopause as a whole, directly influences the symptoms that show up (and severity of them) for an individual within that society.

Is it an insult to say someone is menopausal?
I can see why it has been.


When it was synonymous with being ‘less’ of a woman, when we were expected to move aside to make way for younger women, and men, to take over, because our value has been, shockingly, in parallel to the function of our ovaries.

The way I see it, menopause is only an insult if we continue to see it as ‘all downhill from here’.


These days, we have more choices, more knowledge, perspectives and strategies that serve us well in how we manage this time of life, instead of it being something we’re at the mercy of.


No, when you implied I’m menopausal. You were kind of right.

I’m PERI menopausal. And proud of it.

Not all women get to this chapter of life.

I’m here and I’m ready for it.



If you recognise that you’re peri-menopausal (or post-menopausal), and want to increase your confidence in your approach to your health now and for the future, then get in touch here. I’d love to hear from you.

If you’ve not yet joined my online community – Finding Yourself In Menopause – then check out the link below.

We are available to all women who are seeking reassurance not just information.