Menopause Is Not a war, But It Is a Call To Action

[May 2020]

I think there are many women and even many of my friends, who haven’t realised yet that they are peri-menopausal.

Well, how would they know?

(unless they’re in my group or read my Womanual, lol)

Which means, there are many women still focused on:

• Calorie-controlled diets to get rid of the belly fat
• ‘Catching up’ on sleep at the weekend, yet wondering why they still feel tired
• Blaming work for the increased stress and overwhelm
• Blaming tiredness / stress for the lack of libido
• Wondering why anxiety / depression started to creep in on the scene.

When there’s already a lot going on in your life, it can be hard to know what’s really down to menopause, or not.

But the truth of it is, everything you do and all the habits you have, will have some affect on how well you cope in menopause.

I’ve heard some women talk about menopause like they’re going into war, but that’s not a fight I want to help you with.

I’m 40 (you could look more surprised than that, just sayin’) and staring peri-menopause in the face.

It’s not an aggressive staring match though.

I look her in the face, so I can get to know her a bit more. I’ve chosen it to be this way, now, whilst the decision is perhaps a little easier.

You see, I’m curious and I want to be friends, I don’t want a battle for the next 15+ years

(‘cos that’s how long we could be living together for)

I like to stand up for myself but I absolutely hate arguments, and that’s exactly the approach I’m now taking into this next decade.

I still have monthly periods but they don’t always show up in exactly the same way they used to.

My body shape is changing, even my face is changing and that feels weird to me.

Sometimes I feel like a paranoid teenager. Subtle changes, but definitely happening.

The more I ignore it, the worse I could be making it for myself, in later years.

Why would I even do that to myself?

Nobody wants to think of themselves as getting older, I’m the same as you

(and we are both still 23 on the inside, right?)

Plus there’s this thing of putting my fingers in my ears:

‘la la la it’s not happening’

But if we continue doing that, we’re both wasting valuable time, when we could be becoming more resilient, courageous and knowledgeable about what we can do about all these changes.

Accepting your hormones are changing, is definitely not the same thing as getting old before your time,

or letting yourself go.

You don’t need to get all fired up and pissed off about it. This isn’t a fight to be had.

Although believe me, I’ve seen enough women try.

The last couple of years for me in particular, have really shown that there is so much to gain. It’s not all about ‘loss and decline’.

At the same time, ‘just putting up with it’, and pretending ‘it’s not that bad’, are not effective strategies.

Somewhere in the middle, there’s something to be said about intuition, leaning in and supporting yourself (without standing on an island).

Actually there’s ALOT to be said about that last bit.

I promise I’ll keep sharing about it.

If you’ve not yet joined my online community – Finding Yourself In Menopause – then check out the link below.

We are available to all women who are seeking support not just information.