Not enough, and too much

Not enough, and too much

If you’ve not yet joined my free facebook community – Menopause Done Naturally – then all you need to do is click the button below. It’s available to all women who are seeking some basic advice about how to navigate the menopause in a natural way.

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[April 2022]

Too small

Too quiet

Too serious

Too boring

Too selfish

Too big for your own boots

Too intense

Too slow

Too bold

Too independent

Before the time I was 30 (I’m 42 now), I was ‘told’ I was all these things and more.

I was ‘too much’ of so many things

and at the same time, I took it to mean that I was not enough.

Inadequacy plagued me and I responded by trying to prove my worth.

With money, with certificates, with my body, with material things, with virtuous traits, with trying to please other people.

Of course none of it filled in the cracks!

I was trying to meet the question of ‘when will I be enough, when will I measure up and meet everyone else’s criteria’, with ‘doing’,
instead of addressing the real question…

What will it take for me to realise and fully accept that I always was, I still am,

and always will BE, enough.

It’s not something to earn the rights to

It doesn’t come automatically from age or enduring hardship
It’s not about other people’s words or actions that only really portray their own inadequacies.

I didn’t need to fight for it, I just needed to let it settle in my overthinking mind that it was already there.

Thank god I got there in the end.

Maybe you were quicker than me and you’ve already got this memo. I hope so.

If not, it’s just arrived and whenever you’re ready, it’s waiting for you.

You are enough.

Not matter what’s going on for your, with menopause or anything else. 

It’s not just a pretty thing to say, it’s your right.

And you can accept it whenever you’re ready.

If you’ve not yet joined my free facebook community – Menopause Done Naturally – then all you need to do is click the button below. It’s available to all women who are seeking some basic advice about how to navigate the menopause in a natural way.

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[April 2022]

Too small

Too quiet

Too serious

Too boring

Too selfish

Too big for your own boots

Too intense

Too slow

Too bold

Too independent

Before the time I was 30 (I’m 42 now), I was ‘told’ I was all these things and more.

I was ‘too much’ of so many things

and at the same time, I took it to mean that I was not enough.

Inadequacy plagued me and I responded by trying to prove my worth.

With money, with certificates, with my body, with material things, with virtuous traits, with trying to please other people.

Of course none of it filled in the cracks!

I was trying to meet the question of ‘when will I be enough, when will I measure up and meet everyone else’s criteria’, with ‘doing’,
instead of addressing the real question…

What will it take for me to realise and fully accept that I always was, I still am,

and always will BE, enough.

It’s not something to earn the rights to

It doesn’t come automatically from age or enduring hardship
It’s not about other people’s words or actions that only really portray their own inadequacies.

I didn’t need to fight for it, I just needed to let it settle in my overthinking mind that it was already there.

Thank god I got there in the end.

Maybe you were quicker than me and you’ve already got this memo. I hope so.

If not, it’s just arrived and whenever you’re ready, it’s waiting for you.

You are enough.

Not matter what’s going on for your, with menopause or anything else. 

It’s not just a pretty thing to say, it’s your right.

And you can accept it whenever you’re ready.

If you’ve not yet joined my free facebook community – Menopause Done Naturally – then all you need to do is click the button below. It’s available to all women who are seeking some basic advice about how to navigate the menopause in a natural way.

It’s more than ‘just’ menopause

It’s more than ‘just’ menopause

Some days it feels to me like the whole world is shifting on its axis. And at times I’m both scrabbling to keep up, and very much content with doing things my way.

I mean, apart from the obvious global shifts that have happened in the last 12 months, my period cycle has changed. I noticed some uncomfortable self-consciousness creeping in a little, and the ways in which I settle myself is far removed from how things used to be.

My energy feels different just lately. Not good or bad, just different.
I look at photos from barely five years ago and I’m genuinely shocked to see how much my face has changed.

But the windows still need to be cleaned. My parents still piss me off sometimes, and I still don’t know how to change the clock in my car.
I often catch my thoughts, and it feels like I’ve never changed (do you ever stop feeling 23, on the inside?!)

And yet, I feel shifts within myself, on my axis, about who I am.
And who I want to be. 
It’s deep and at times uncomfortable and yet I welcome it in, in so many ways.
I have conversations about this with my mentors and I feel very grateful to have such beautiful people in my life to share it with. 

I talk about it with clients and we find similarities in feelings, of deep desires resurfacing, of wanting more for ourselves. I encourage it because this is the real ‘deep work’ that your body is nudging you to do.

It’s no longer just about ‘loss and decline’ of hormones, it becomes all about what’s to gain from the process of turning inwards.
Not in a ‘woe is me’ kind of way, but in a compassionate and supportive ‘what can I learn from this?’ kind of way.

I genuinely love it.

Menopause. Midlife.

It’s so much more than hot flushes and wonky periods.
It’s even more than the sugar binges, the tears, the rollercoaster of hormones.

I have skills and strategies to help you with those things, to gain practical knowledge to help yourself, but my true calling is in helping you nurture yourself, in a way that goes beyond the surface level.

Soul nurturing.

It’s like a feeling of getting back to yourself, an unwavering acceptance and confidence, a way of nurturing what’s truly in your heart.

When we talk more about those deeper things, we also find that the hormones and emotions, the weight gain and tiredness, are naturally smoothed out too, because they’re all contained within a unique package… you.

I’d love to help you more with all this. When you’re ready, get in touch by using the contact details below



February 2021

Not enough, and too much

Put The Weapons Down

Menopause Is Not a war, But It Is a Call To Action

[May 2020]

I think there are many women and even many of my friends, who haven’t realised yet that they are peri-menopausal. 

Well, how would they know? 

(unless they’re in my group or read my Womanual, lol)

Which means, there are many women still focused on: 

  • Calorie-controlled diets to get rid of the belly fat
  • ‘Catching up’ on sleep at the weekend, yet wondering why they still feel tired
  • Blaming work for the increased stress and overwhelm
  • Blaming tiredness / stress for the lack of libido
  • Wondering why anxiety / depression started to creep in on the scene.

When there’s already a lot going on in your life, it can be hard to know what’s really down to menopause, or not.

But the truth of it is, everything you do and all the habits you have, will have some affect on how well you cope in menopause.

I’ve heard some women talk about menopause like they’re going into war, but that’s not a fight I want to help you with.

I’m 40 (you could look more surprised than that, just sayin’) and staring peri-menopause in the face.

It’s not an aggressive staring match though. 

I look her in the face, so I can get to know her a bit more. I’ve chosen it to be this way, now, whilst the decision is perhaps a little easier.

You see, I’m curious and I want to be friends, I don’t want a battle for the next 15+ years

(‘cos that’s how long we could be living together for)

I like to stand up for myself but I absolutely hate arguments, and that’s exactly the approach I’m now taking into this next decade.

I still have monthly periods but they don’t always show up in exactly the same way they used to.

My body shape is changing, even my face is changing and that feels weird to me.

Sometimes I feel like a paranoid teenager. Subtle changes, but definitely happening. 

The more I ignore it, the worse I could be making it for myself, in later years.

Why would I even do that to myself?

Nobody wants to think of themselves as getting older, I’m the same as you 

(and we are both still 23 on the inside, right?)

Plus there’s this thing of putting my fingers in my ears: 

‘la la la it’s not happening’

But if we continue doing that, we’re both wasting valuable time, when we could be becoming more resilient, courageous and knowledgeable about what we can do about all these changes.

Accepting your hormones are changing, is definitely not the same thing as getting old before your time,

or letting yourself go. 

You don’t need to get all fired up and pissed off about it. This isn’t a fight to be had. 

Although believe me, I’ve seen enough women try.

The last couple of years for me in particular, have really shown that there is so much to gain. It’s not all about ‘loss and decline’.

At the same time, ‘just putting up with it’, and pretending ‘it’s not that bad’, are not effective strategies. 

Somewhere in the middle, there’s something to be said about intuition, leaning in and supporting yourself (without standing on an island). 

Actually there’s ALOT to be said about that last bit.

I promise I’ll keep sharing about it.

If you’ve not yet joined my free facebook community – Menopause Done Naturally – then all you need to do is click the button below. It’s available to all women who are seeking some basic advice about how to navigate the menopause in a natural way.